All My Girlfriends Were Glowie Plants

That's definitely the way a psychiatric interview starts right before you get committed

When I was freezing to death in the cabin on top of a remote mountain in Australia, I had nothing to do all night but shiver in front of the fire and reminisce. The more I remembered knowing that my current job was fake, my marriage was fake and my entire life was basically THE TRUMAN SHOW on a much smaller budget with Z-List actors, the more the past started to look like a sentimental mirage. Everybody had been in on the joke except for me - because I was the butt of it. Everybody had duping delight on their faces the entire time I knew them and guess who the dupe was?